Ang Kwentong Naka-CAPS LOCK.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MRT_Interior.JPG
- MRT. ANG PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION KUNG SAAN SAMU'T SARING MUKHA ANG IYONG MAKAKASALUBONG ARAW-ARAW, GABI-GABI. PWEDE RIN ITONG DELATA. TAO NGA LANG ANG LAMAN, HINDI SARDINAS. PWEDE RING LUGAR KUNG SAAN MAKIKITA MO ANG MGA TAO O BAGAY NA HINDI NILUBAYAN ANG IYONG ISIPAN.

SERYOSO. PAKIRAMDAM KO, NAKITA KO NA TALAGA YUNG HINAHANAP KO.

ANG GALING LANG DIBA?

ILANG BUWAN NA NGA BA ANG NAKALIPAS?  NUNG ISANG TAON PA NGA YUN EH. JUNE 6, 2011, MONDAY. GENERAL REGISTRATION PARA SA UNANG SEMESTER AT UNANG LAGI KO SA UP DILIMAN. OH DIBS? TANDA KO PA. NAKASAVE YATA YAN SA KALENDARYO NG AKING EVER-RELIABLE CP.

PERO… GAANO BA AKO KASIGURADO NA SYA YUN?

FEBRUARY 11, 2011 – JAVA NIGHT. TUMUGTOG ANG MGA BANDA SA DORMITORYONG AKING TINUTULUYAN. HABANG SUMISIGAW / TUMITILI NAG MGA TAO (AAMININ KO, KASAMA DIN AKO), MAY NAPANSIN AKONG NAKAUPO SA LIKDO NG ROOMMATE KO. NAKASALAMIN, NAKA-PURPLE FORMAL ATTIRE, NAKIKINIG SA EARPHONES NYA. WALA, NAPANSIN KO LANG. NAKASALAMIN EH. PAGKATAPOS KO SYANG DAAN-DAANAN (PROMISE, PURONG PAGDAAN LANG ANG INTENSYON KO, PABALIK-BALIK KASI AKO SA ROOM EH), MAYA-MAYA PUMUNTA SYA SA STAGE. AT OKAY, SYA PALA ANG GITARISTA NG BANDA NILA.

TUMUGTOG NA ANG BANDA NILA. AFTER A FEW SECONDS, NABINGI AKO SA TILIAN NG MGA KATABI KO.

KATABI: (OKAY, NON-VERBATIM TO. PERO IKO-QUOTE KO PARIN) “OMG, ANG HOT NUNG GITARISTA TUMUGTOG NG GITARA!”

ROOMMATE: “GRABE, ANG GWAPO NUNG NAKAPURPLE! (PAG NATUGTOG)”

<INSERT *SCREAMS* SA DALAWANG DIALOGUE>

AT NAGPATULOY ANG SIGAWAN / TILIAN. PERO HINDI NA AKO KASAMA DUN. NAHIYA AKO EH. OO, NAHIYA AKO. GANUN TALAGA. HANGGANG MAMAYA, KINAUSAP AKO NG ROOMMATE KO.

ROOMMATE: (NON-VERBATIM ULIT TO) “<INSERT PANGALAN KO>, ALAM MO, KAHAWIG NYA SI <INSERT RANDOM NAME HERE>.”

AKO: “DI RIN. MAS GWAPO SI <INSERT RANDOM NAME HERE>.”

PAKIALAM KO KUNG MAGKAHAWIG SILA? JOKE LANG.

PERO AAMININ KO, DAHIL DUN KAYA NAPANSIN KO SYA NUNG GABI NA YUN, BUKOD SA NAKASALAMIN SYA. AT YUN DIN ANG DAHILAN KAYA NAG-STALK AKO SA BAND PAGE NILA, AT SYEMPRE, MALAMANG, SA PROFILE NYA. AT DAHIL MAGALING AKO (JOKE LANG. HINDI AKO CONCEITED, JOKE LANG TALAGA YON), NAKAHANAP AKO NG PARAAN NA I-ADD SYA. AT SA SITWASYONG HINDI KO NA ALAM KUNG KAILAN, MAY BIGLANG SUMAGING MALAKING POSIBILIDAD SA ISIP KO.

DIBA, BROWN ANG HAIR NYA SA ISANG PIC? THAT WAS TAKEN AROUND APRIL 2011.

AT MALAKI ANG POSIBILITY NA BROWN PA RIN ANG BUHOK NYA NUNG JUNE 2011.

FLASHBACK: JUNE 6, 2011 – SUMAKAY AKO SA MRT, KASAMA ANG MAMA AT PAPA KO PAPUNTANG UP DILIMAN PARA MAG-ENROLL. TANDA KO PA ANG SUOT KO NON (NACKS. AKO NA MALINAW MEMORY. JOKE. MEMORABLE LANG TALAGA SYA). SKINNY JEANS, YUNG BLUE SANDO-ISH NA CAMP BEVERLY HILLS(?) ANG BRAND (BASTA, ALAM KO SYA), AT YUNG CHALEKO (CHALEKO NGA BA YUN? O.O) NA MAONG. OO, AKO NA WEIRD MANAMIT. BASTA AYUN, SUMAKAY KAMI NG MRT. MAY KATABI AKONG MAG-INA SA KALIWA KO. AT SA TABI NILA, NAROON ANG ISANG LALAKING BROWN ANG BUHOK, MEDYO MESTISO, NAKA BLACK NA LONG SLEEVE AT SLACKS (HOPEFULLY YUN DIN ANG TAWAG KAPAG PANLALAKI). WALANG SALAMIN. PERO NAALALA KO SYA. SABAY KAMING TUMINGIN SA BABY NA KARGA NUNG NANAY, NAGKATINGINAN. AT EWAN KO BA SA UTAK KO, PERO NAALALA KO TALAGA SYA. AT NAULIT LANG. TINGIN SA BABY. SA KANYA. SA BABY. SA KANYA. HANGGANG SA BUMABA ANG MAG-INA, MAY BAKANTE NA. PARANG KATABI KO NA DIN SYA. PERO ALANGAN BA NAMANG UMUSOG AKO SA KANYA, EH KATABI KO ANG PARENTS KO. HINDI KO ALAM KUNG GUSTO NYANG UMUSOG (SORRY, ASSUMING). PERO MAY EPAL NA UMUPO SA GITNA NAMIN. AT NANAHIMIK NA LANG AKO, NAKAUPO, NAKATINGIN SA BINTANA (DAHIL SA REPLEKSYON – ALAM NA). HANGGANG DUMATING SA CUBAO STATION. AT LUMABAS NA SYA. GOODBYE.

AT DAHIL SA KAKAIBANG PANGYAYARING YON NA HINDI KO RIN MAIPALIWANAG KUNG BAKIT, EVERYTIME NA SASAKAY AKO NG MRT, NAPA-PARANOID AKO. AKALA MO, NAGHAHANAP NG POTENTIAL NA MAY DALA NG BOMBA. BAKA ISIPIN MO, ANG WEIRD KO. MARAMI NAMANG GWAPO DYAN. MAGHANAP NA LANG AKO NG BAGO. PARA LANG SA KAALAMAN MO, HINDI AKO ATTRACTED SA GWAPO (WOO, PLASTIC. JOKE LANG). SIGURO, MAPAPATINGIN AKO, PERO HINDI KO SASAYANGIN ANG ATENSYON AT ORAS KO SA KANYA. PERO MALAY KO BA KUNG ANONG MERON DUN SA LALAKING YUN. BAKA GINAYUMA NYA AKO HABANG NAKATINGIN (NGA BA?) SYA SA AKIN. BASTA SIMULA NUNG ARAW NA YUN, HINAHANAP-HANAP KO NA SYA. HANGGANG SA NAREALIZE KO NA MILYON-MILYON ANG SUMASAKAY SA MRT AT TINAMAD NA RIN AKO.

PERO SYEMPRE, HINDI SYA NAALIS SA ISIP KO.

MAY MGA PAGKAKATAON LANG TALAGA NA MAY EEPAL SA ISIP MO. KAGAYA NA LANG NG MGA BADTRIP NA “CRUSH” NA YAN (SANA MAKAISP AKO NG IBANG TERM. MASYADONG GIRLY EH). KAGAYA NA LANG UNG <INSERT RAMDAM NAME HERE> NA YAN. AKALA MO SYA NA. PERO MARI-REALIZE MO NA JOKE LANG PALA SYA. MAHUHULOG KA SA KABANALAN NYA, PERO MALALAMAN MO, MAY BABAE NA RIN PALA SYA.

AT SA PUNTONG NALAMAN MONG MAY IBANG GUSTO NA SYA, SAKA BIGALNG DUMATING ANG MATAGAL MO NANG HINAHANAP. VERY MAGICAL.

HINDI NA BROWN ANG BUHOK NYA. PERO MALAMANG, GANON PA RIN ANG KULAY NG BALAT AT MUKHA NYA. PATI NUNAL NYA. NAKASALAMIN NA SYA NGAYON, PARANG BONUS LANG (SA PART NA TO, I ADMIT. EYEGLASS FETISH AKO. OO NA). GITARISTA PA SYA. AT… ALAM KONG MALAPIT SI SYA SA PINAKAMAMAHAL KO – SI GOD.

HINDI KO ALAM KUNG NAALALA PA NYA AKO SA PAREHONG SITWASYON, SA MRT MAN YAN O SA DROM. HINDI KO ALAM KUNG NAG-EEXIST BA AKO SA MUNDO NYA. BASTA MASAYA NA AKO, DAHIL SA WAKAS, NAHANAP KO NA ANG HINAHANAP KO. SALAMAT SA PANGINOON, MULI NA NAMAN NYANG IPINAKITA KUNG GAANO SYA KAGALING. PERFECT TIMING LANG. PERFECT TO SAVE MY HEART (DRAMA NAMAN NETO. O.O). AT HINDI NA AKO MAG-EEXPECT O MAG-IISIP NG KUNG ANU-ANO. BAHALA NA ANG DIYOS. MAY TIWALA AKO SA KANYA. NAGAWA NGA NYANG MULING PAGKITAIN ANG DALAWANG ESTRANGHERONG MAY SARI-SARILING MUNDO, KAHIT NA AKO LANG ANG NAGHAHANAP SA KANYA.

AT SANA, YUNG NAKAUSAP KO SA PAGE NG BANDA NYO, SYA YUN. SANA SYA YUNG NAG-SUGGEST NA I-ADD KO SYA. KITAKITS NA LANG, KUNG MAGKIKITA PA KAMI. GOODBYE.

HULING PAALALA. HINDI AKO NASIGAW DITO. NASIMULAN KO KASING I-TYPE TO NG ALL CAPS. EH TINAMAD NA AKONG ULITIN. O.O

Define Stupidity - Part 2.

Source: http://www.cruzine.com/2010/09/21/funny-faces/
- THIS IS ME. ARE YOU READY?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you hurt him bad, I'm gonna kill you.

I'm serious.

Just kidding, bitch.

Nah, I'm tired. I don't wanna talk to you. I'll just talk to someone who isn't sure if I really exist, but knows how stupid I am.

Already read the part one? Oh, not you, bitch. Him. Her. Or whosoever reading this. So go away, bitch. And for him, her, or whosoever reading this shit, read the part one first. Then you'll have the idea.

Now the bitch is gone and you have the idea already, let's begin.

I tried to forget his big eyes, his eyeglasses, his hypnotizing laugh, his encouraging words, and everything that's all about that kid. But try is only trying, and it doesn't mean it will work out.

Absolutely, it didn't. Obviously, nothing happened. It seems like I'm stuck in a hole because I'm too fat. I tried to diet, but because I love eating, instead of becoming slim I grew bigger and bigger and bigger like an elephant. Now, I'm not only stuck, but  I can already feel the pain of being stuck. More eating will make me explode like a bomb of fat.

The analogy? I tried to forget that kid but because I'm hard-headed I became indulged to him more and more. Now I feel this damn pain in my cardiovascular shit and more addiction will make it explode like a bomb of gross flesh and blood.

I need a rehabilitation.

Once upon a time, in a silent sidewalk with the road on the right and trees on the other side, my feet were racing to each other. Left, right, left, right, then tap! Some bastard tapped me on my shoulder. Suddenly, I realized it's him, and there he was again, with his heart-melting smile and sparkling eyes, started the conversation. Then we talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, and *ring!* There goes a phone call. Yea, that bitch called. It seems like your watching a suspense movie and the entire film is exciting your ass out and there comes the climax until... Ting! Brownout. Fuck yea.

Honestly, on that moment I wanna grab his phone, throw it in the air, and sing "I throw your cellphone on the air up high, saying a-yo, no more asshole..." (Dynamite by Taio Cruz tune, for those derps who didn't get it.)

Escaping prolongs the pain. Accepting is a torture. But, this may hurt you a googolplex times at first, but soon, at a minimum of a microsecond, the damn pain will fade just like vapors in the air.

A creature, in order to survive, needs to adapt in its stupid desolated environment.

And that's what I did. I tried to accept and adapt the fucking fact. But maybe I'm too weak for that shit. That's why here I am, still suspended in my stupid fucking damn feelings.

And the moment of truth arrived.

One, cloudy and windy late afternoon, I was alone, walking and enjoying my favorite ice cream. And in a minute of enjoying the heavenly taste of vanilla in my tongue, my eyes captured something excruciating.

Two hands holding each other, four feet walking together, four eyes staring each other, two lips smiling, and two heads that should be decapitated.

And the ice cream cone was crushed in my hand. The white sticky cream poured in my hand through the damn ground.

Shoot. Bang. Drop. You're dead. I wish.

And your big black eyes noticed the stupid me.

You smiled. I smiled. Fuck the mask in me.

Oh wait, yes, after all those stupid moments that were bashed in my face, here I am, still hoping, and waiting, and expecting. Never say die, even though my being was already rotten.

You should water me, Mr. Gardener.

Hahaha. I'm insane. And stupid, by the way.

Define Stupidity.

source: http://favim.com/image/94567/
- UMBRELLA. WHY YOU SUCK?

Please don't read it. I'm begging you.

Okay, fine! You're persistent, huh? Do you wanna take a piece of damn shit on what I'm talking about here? Then go waste the seconds of your life. Read.

He's breaking the shit out of me. Hell yea, what has he done to me? I wasn't like this before. Why did I...

Why did I easily fall on a son-of-a-bitch!? I hate myself.

But no matter what I do, he's already stuck in my head. I even remember the time that I first noticed him. Yea, noticed him, not saw him. I saw him maybe alot of times before but only on that time, that what-the-hell time, when I first noticed that little brat. He's kinda cute, and his smile suites him. Behind those eyeglasses are his char- nah, awkward description. Let's just say big. Yea, his big eyes were staring at me. I don't know why. Why is he staring at me? Is there something wrong with me? I acted like I don't seem to notice but felt awkward. Then that awkwardness shifted to the feeling of delight; I felt like flying. I smiled, and I started imagining things which I'm really dying to experience in reality. Uh, that crazy moment. It's all his fault.

Day by day, I was always inspired to see the sunlight. Well, not the sunlight really, but him. But sometimes I learned to hate the glistening sun and love the pouring rain. It used to be a big mess for me if it rained while I'm walking, but because of that stupid guy I learned to enjoy it. Wouldn't you enjoy it if you're with the one that you like under one umbrella? It's so damn fantastic! I thought my heart is leaping. But, yea, I had to control myself. Am I that crazy to let him see that I'm very happy? Nah, no way. Pride man, pride.

I hate you Cupid. Wish Venus never gave birth to you.

Love, love, love. Are you really capable of making our lives miserable? Yes! I'm really, really, miserable, freak. I can't control myself. Why is he so sweet? You know, he speaks so gently. His voice is like a music that I wanna listen for life. His laugh is the craziest yet the best sound I had ever heard. His smile? Yea, it's like fire. It melted the arrogant part of me. I was tamed. And the best part? When I was depressed. When I felt like quitting. He cheered on me. He motivated me. And I felt like being hypnotized by those sweet words that he uttered. It's like nirvana.

I was once dumbfounded. But now I am simply... dumb.

And because I'm dumb, I asked him stupid things which I wished I'd never asked. We were so close then, but suddenly I observed that he's sometimes too busy texting that he ignored the whole damn world. Out of curiosity I asked who is he texting. And in a snap, he told me, "She's [insert bitch's name here]. She's the one I'm courting."

Fuck you.

I was once drenched in total delight. But now, I experience hangover.

Collapsed. I feel like being crashed under a 10-wheeler truck. And because of anger I can really carry that 10-wheeler truck and throw it to that girl. Yea, that bitch. She's very, very lucky. I don't really met her personally but... whoever she is, if she hurts him, she'll gonna regret being alive. And I will kill her.

Nah, just kidding. I'm not a murderer, babe. I can kill her in my mind but, are you an idiot!? I hate blood, man. It's disgusting. Same as I. I'm very disgusting. I hate myself. I hate him. Wish I'd never...

Wait, he texted.

"Hi, how are you? :)"

Am I smiling? Stupid.